"It must be the Irn-Bru."
Andrew Hill
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"The old silver stallion needs to be reminded that the aim is to put the ball between the posts and not over them!"
Kieron Brace
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"Stamina of a stallion, and the looks to match!"
Neil Mann
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"Doesn’t do football, but hairdressing….."
Sam Matcham
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"Looks like Rooney, plays like Shrek!"
Scott Cullen
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"Avid Arsenal fan - you can tell by the way he plays football!"
Paul Dawes
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"He almost did something."
Rob Ambidge
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"Runs for 5 minutes, sleeps for 30!"
Tom Petrie
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